Stop making excuses!

Dear writers and readers,

The title of this post is for me, no judgment for you here – but it might encourage you, too.

Yesterday I was thinking about the exhaustion of this pandemic continuing, and how I want something bright and different to happen, I’m tired of not seeing friends and family, not going many places, etc. But then I thought – instead of complaining, I should be asking, what can I do to make changes? The only thing I can change is myself.

I listed off some goals I have creatively, such as:

• Finishing my YA historical novel that I keep talking about on here
• Publishing my poetry collection
• Taking a photography class and trying to sell some photography, possibly

And in addition to being so tired of the pandemic, I’m tired of myself. I’m tired of all the excuses I make, I’m tired of how long it takes me to finish these projects, I’m tired of talking and talking and having nothing or unfinished projects to show for it. It’s time to:

Stop making excuses!

It’s time. I’ve had years to gather myself together, I’ve had months to get used to writing again, and instead of working on my novel as-of-late I find myself writing fanfiction. Now there’s nothing wrong with fanfiction, I love it and dare I say my readers like my works, but…why aren’t I working on my novel, instead? Don’t I want to finish it??

When I search inside, I know I do. I know I want to finish my historical novel, even though I don’t plan to publish it, it’s more novella-sized, and it’s an experimental work done to get me back into the writing groove.

It’s not just that I want to finish it, either. I need to. If I don’t finish it, it will just be another unfinished project that I’ll think about. It’ll bog me down. It’ll depress me. It will make me even stop writing, because I’ll get so discourage that I’ll feel like a failure and not be able to stare down that blank page anymore.

Action, Jackson

I’ve got nothing to lose. I’ve had months and years of resting on my laurels. I’ve been planning, preparing, outlining, note-taking, “taking a break”, writing fanfiction, hopping from project to project, for so long. And has it really amounted to anything? Not really. I did pick up the ukulele during the lockdowns, I painted a few oil and watercolor paintings and plan to do more, but…It’s not like I replaced my unfinished, waiting projects with other works while they were on the back burner. I didn’t produce much.

Yes, it’s not always about tons of quantity. You don’t need to have written loads of stuff to be a writer, after all. But I just wish I had more to show for all my hemming and hawing, I guess.

It’s time to take action. I’m tired of thinking and talking about my ideas. Often I keep them to myself or blog about them here, but I don’t share them with my friends or family much; I think it’s because part of me believes I’ll never finish anything. And I don’t want to hear their questions about how my novel or what-have-you is going. So I don’t share.

But then I end up being really, really lonely. Because I’m too self-judging, unproductive, etc. to share about my writing with many people. And then when NaNoWriMo comes around I’m so happy, because I don’t feel so lonely in my writing, for once.

I want to stop all these negative circles. It’s time to take action.

I’ve talked about these things a lot in this blog before. But now I’m determined to do more than talk. See you on the other side!

What are some things you’ve been putting off? What are some actions you can take to get the ball rolling?

Until next time,
Chaitanya